Buff? Thin? Healthy? Promoted? Bookish? Money conscious?
What are you going to do in 2025 that’s going to dramatically make your life better?
My resolution this year is a continual heart transformation that’s been going on ever since I was a young girl. I remember in the sixth grade, wanting everyone in my class to feel loved and happy and spending hours writing personal Valentines to each person in the hopes that it would make whatever was wrong in their lives better. It turns out, you can’t fix someone’s entire life. But what you can do, in the case of my sixth grade Valentines, is make a lot of people think you have a crush on them.
But, as time went on, I continued to write notes and letters to people that I noticed, some who seemed to be struggling or lonely or needing some encouragement. I never knew if any of these had an impact or if I was embarrassing myself or being intrusive, but later in life I’ve had people reach out to me telling me that the letter I gave them when we were teenagers helped them in some way.
I began to take notice of a woman in my church back in 2019. She would make small announcements here and there about charities she was working with and would organize things like coat drives during the winter. I thought, ‘Man, that is one cool lady,’ and in 2020 I started to get a feeling I should write a note to her letting her know that she was inspiring and that I was grateful that someone like her existed in the world.
I dragged my feet for a while, thinking that she probably had lots of friends who were constantly showering her with praise.
What did she need me for?
But, I kept having this nagging feeling that I should just swallow whatever insecurities I had and just do it. So, I did.
She was, of course, touched and went on to talk to me about how she’d been feeling like a failure because of some personal things going on in her life. She didn’t think anyone was paying attention to what she was doing well. Huh.
So often in life I think everyone I’m friends with is also friends with each other and no one really needs me. But the truth of it is, we all need each other. Everyone can use encouragement, or acknowledgement of the things we notice them doing well to uplift them to carry on.
I know this power of encouragement in my own life. When I was in my teens and early 20’s, I was experiencing a personal crisis that was leaving me, often, isolating and feeling deeply alone.
When I would go to family gatherings, my grandfather would hug me, squeeze my arms and not let go, look me in the eyes for a long time and say a blessing to me about not giving up and always moving forward. He had no idea what I was going through or if his message to me meant anything at all, but it meant absolutely everything to me during that time and I was and am immeasurably grateful to him for those words and that attentiveness.
We don’t grow out of needing encouragement, either. I heard a story last year at a parenting event that had every parent in the room teary-eyed. The man speaking at the event, a father, said that when his son was growing up, every night before his son fell asleep, he would go into the room and speak a blessing over his life. Sometimes the son would roll his eyes as he got older, but he never stopped doing it.
When the son was an adult, he returned home for a visit and was going to sleep in his old bedroom and his dad jokingly said, “I’ll be right up to give you your blessing” to which the son tearfully replied, “Thanks dad. I’ll be waiting.”
Encouraging others not only helps them, it also helps us foster a deep connection to those around us, gives us a sense of purpose, and reinforces an uplifting social environment. What’s not to love?
If all of us made noticing others positive traits and uplifting them our New Years Resolution, think of all the goodness and connection that would flow from us all. In creating strong community bonds and in achieving our goals knowing that there are people out there rooting for us and believing we are capable.
Do you feel like you could use a little encouragement? Then I bet your neighbor could, too.
